In the Garden of White Roses
by Oblivious Anarchy
Summary: A series of oneshots revolving around Subaru Sakamaki.
1. Rendezvous

What was love?

Subaru Sakamaki did not know the answer to that question. At least, not until Yui Komori popped into the picture. For so long, all he had known was emptiness and frustration. His brothers never ceased to piss him off, and his mother—no, he wouldn't think about her. He refused to think about the ambivalence with which she treated him for so many long, painful years.

But those were different kinds of love than the love he held for Yui. Whenever he saw her, she never ceased to stir him up both physically and mentally, in his vampiric ways as well as in his normal teenage boy ways. The beauty of her porcelain flesh, curly blonde hair and bright pink eyes made him feel as aroused and wanton as her blood made the vampire in him feel. He would be damned to allow any one of his filthy half-brothers to mar her beauty with their own lustful fangs. She was _his._

Moonlight fell across the garden in a white glow, glittering in the dew clinging to the roses. When Subaru wasn't busy perched on the windowsill in the house, thinking too much and cursing himself, he was doing as much out in the garden. But tonight was different. He left a note on Yui's bed, asking her to meet him out here at midnight. According to the clock tower, it was a quarter after.

_Maybe she isn't coming_, he thought bitterly to himself. _After all_, _you torment her like all the others._ But he knew that did not matter. If anything, he had been the most kind to her of all his brothers. He tried to convince her to escape. The first time he'd bitten her in this very same garden, he'd been sure to be gentle, unlike mischievous Ayato or perverted Raito.

But...

_Maybe I really am worthless_, he thought to himself.

Subaru clenched his jaw, spinning around to throw his fist at the roses. The thorns sank painfully into his flesh, but the pain was numb, dull. How could physical pain compare to a life of eternal emotional suffering?

With disgust, he turned, making his way back to the house. Yui wasn't coming. That was apparent. He'd been stupid to think she would want to spend time with somebody like him. Not that she truly knew anything about him, of course. Just bits and pieces like all his half-siblings. But still.

As soon as he pushed open the door and stepped into the mansion, the scent of her intoxicating blood hit him like a wall. Subaru froze, his body tightening. Unlike his older brothers, Subaru was still young. Hell, he was younger than Yui, even. His vampiric instincts and bloodlust were still new to him, strong enough to make his stomach clench and fingers curl. But the force that kept him calm despite his hunger was the strength of the blood-scent. Yui was near.

In fact, she wasn't just near. Glancing to the left past the towering red staircase, she was right in the entrance hall, passed out on the couch with Ayato crouched over her, fangs embedded in her soft throat. Rage flared inside him at the sight, but so did the rare pang of happiness. Lying on the floor was his note. It was ripped. Probably Ayato's work.

"Hey, get your filthy mouth off of her," Subaru growled, slamming his fist against the wall hard enough to make the drywall crack. "She's mine for tonight."

Ayato laughed, pulling back with her blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. He licked it away seductively. Subaru ignored it. "Subaru. I thought you knew that she belonged to Yours Truly."

"Fuck off." The scent of the blood made his fangs throb. It was difficult to keep control of himself.

Ayato chuckled, gesturing to the note. "You know, leaving a note like that does nothing more than make me more possessive of Yui. If you wanted to meet with her, you should have just retrieved her yourself. But now that I have competition..."

Subaru slammed the wall with his fist again and glared.

"Alright. I'll let you have your way. But just to let you know, I drank her to the edge of death, so don't think about feeding from her unless you want her to die." Ayato slid off the couch and stretched, looking pleased with himself. His green eyes glowed with contentment. As he left the room, Subaru saw him smirk.

"Tch." Subaru walked forward and took a seat next to Yui, staring at her unconscious face. She looked like she was in pain even in her sleep. It pissed him off. If she had to suffer the pain of having her blood sucked, it would be from him.

He brushed her honey curls from her face and leaned over her, pressing his lips gently to hers. Her mouth tasted sweet, but he knew her blood would taste sweeter. _Fuck._

He lowered his face, his eyes staring at the punctures on her throat. They still dribbled a little blood. Subaru wouldn't even have to bite. He dipped his head and lapped at the wounds, digging his fingers hard into the soft green cushion. _Holy shit_, he thought, drawing back to stare at her. Her eyelids twitched, as though he'd stirred the pain back up. How could anybody in the world taste like this? He knew she had Cordelia's heart, but he'd never drank Cordelia's blood. So was this her own, or that woman's?

Subaru decided it didn't matter, then migrated back to the beautiful taste. Yui flinched under him, stirring. "A—Ayato...?" she whispered.

Subaru drew back, baring his fangs. "Tch. Do I look like that asshole to you?"

Yui blinked. "Oh, Subaru-kun. I—wait! What time is it?"

"That doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry—"

"Ugh, don't apologize. I don't want to hear it."

Yui fell silent.

Subaru looked around, making sure Ayato or the others weren't nearby. Not that they could stop him. He scooped Yui up in his arms, hissing when she made a fearful sound. "Do you want my brothers to hear you?"

She shook her head.

"Then calm down. I'm just taking you upstairs."

He carried her back to the front door then turned, taking her back up the stairs. She probably expected to be taken back to her room, but Subaru decided vehemently against that. His brothers liked bothering Yui when she was in her room. Being in her room meant she was fair game. Tonight, she was not fair game.

He pushed open his bedroom door when he came to it. It was rather plain considering he lived in a mansion, but he didn't really care for his room other than for his coffin. Supporting Yui with one arm, he lifted up the heavy lid and placed her inside of it, climbing in himself right after and shutting the lid. Inside, it was pitch black. Yui shifted uncomfortably next to him.

"What is it?"

"Will I be able to breathe in here?"

Subaru turned on his side, slipping his arm around her thin stomach. "Will you?" he murmured. He could breathe himself, but it wasn't necessary. The same way as he could eat but didn't need to. She said nothing to that, but rather changed the subject, speaking after a few silent moments.

"Why did you want to see me earlier, Subaru-kun? Why did you leave me the note?"

"Because I wanted to spend time with you. Isn't that obvious?"

"I figured you would just want to suck my blood."

"That too." He propped himself up on his elbow. He couldn't see in the darkness of the coffin, but he didn't need to. He touched her soft hair. "But I did want to spend time with you."

"Oh."

He stroked it gently for a moment, then touched her soft skin. His voice hardened. "In that aspect, I'm like my brothers. I want you to myself. I want you and your blood as my own. I'm selfish, Yui, but isn't everyone who lives in this damn place selfish?"

He pressed his mouth to her cheek, trailing his lips down to the base of her jaw with kisses, making her shiver against him. His own body shivered with excitement at her discomfort. "Subaru-kun," she whispered, "don't—"

"I'm not going to bite you. Unfortunately, Ayato felt the need to claim you for himself. You don't have enough blood for me to drink without killing you," he growled. At least, it came out as a growl. Her scent had almost completely tainted the coffin. He felt lightheaded with thirst. He considered opening the coffin, but her words cut him from his thoughts.

"Then...are you protecting me?"

"From my brothers, yes. From me, no." He brushed his fangs teasingly against her neck, scraping the flesh like he truly planned to bite. "If I could actually bite you right now, I would do so in a heartbeat. But I don't want to kill you."

She twisted around so that she faced him. Her breath was warm on his face, prickling his flesh. It smelled like cranberry juice. "How thirsty are you?" she said gently.

"Eh?"

"I'm curious. None of you ever talk about what it's like being a vampire. I want to know."

"Tch. Well, it's different for me than it is for them. They're older. They're used to their instincts and their lust for blood. I'm not. To me, maintaining control is a constant, conscious effort." He brought his hand to her chin, brushing his thumb across her lips. "My thirst is agonizingly painful. But then again, I can put up with it."

"Because you're used to that kind of pain?"

Subaru didn't respond instantly. How much did he want to tell her? Nothing specific. He didn't want to think about anything other than he and Yui at the moment. He didn't want to feel anxiety or pain. "And other kinds," he admitted. "But that doesn't matter. I can handle it. Now shut up and go to sleep. I'm tired."

"But you're nocturnal—"

He placed a hand on her shoulder, guiding her onto her back. He rose up over her so his back hit the coffin. "Do not disobey me," he said sharply, but when he felt for her lips and covered hers with his own, it was much more tender and gentle than his words had been. Kissing her chased away the madness swirling in his mind, filled him with a lightness that made him feel like he could walk on water. Yui sighed against his mouth—or was it a soft gasp?—and reached up, balling her fists in his torn white shirt.

"S—Subaru-kun," she whispered.

"Shut up," he murmured, then kissed her again, harder, pushing his tongue in her mouth to dominate her. She went limp under him, kissing back only enough that he could tell she was making an effort. But the kiss was left for him to guide. He shut his eyes and slipped a hand under her head, cradling it while he explored the planes and ridges in her mouth. Her heartbeat raced, pumping blood hard through arteries and capillaries. _S—shit..._

He yanked back hard enough his head hit the lid of the coffin. If not for the darkness, his hair and pain would have blinded him. A line of saliva connected their mouths for a slight instant before he pushed open the coffin lid, gasping for clean, untainted air. She touched his bare forearm gently. "You're damn lucky that you don't have enough blood in you," he snapped, reaching to clutch his chest.

"You're blushing," she said.

Subaru stared at her. "What was that?"

Yui was red in the face herself, but she said it again. "You're blushing, Subaru-kun." She smiled brilliantly. "Did the kiss do that, or the blood?"

Sure enough, he felt heat flood heat that was already in his cheeks. "I should leave you to my brothers," he said frigidly.

"You wouldn't do that. I know you wouldn't." Yui took him by the hand and pulled him down next to her. "You cared enough to protect me from them that you wouldn't just throw me right back to them."

Subaru gazed at her for a long moment. Then, gently, he drew her against his chest. "I'm going to hurt you if you stay," he murmured.

"I'm not leaving. I have faith in you." She smiled, pressing her face into his chest. "Spare me tonight and you can drink my blood tomorrow."

Subaru stiffened. "You're actually offering?"

"I prefer it when you suck my blood than them."

He brushed his fingers down her spine. "Okay then," he said. "If you trust me so much, let's just lie here for a little while longer. I don't feel like doing anything else."

Yui snuggled into his chest. "Sounds good to me."


	2. Unwanted (Part 1 of 2)

**A/N: Heya! This one's going to be split into two parts. I'm trying to get part two done as fast as possible, but as I'll have no internet connection for the next week, I may not be able to update until then. I'm sorry! Until then...**

* * *

Since Yui Komori's arrival at the Sakamaki mansion, she had spent nearly every waking hour among the sadistic vampire brothers. They rarely left her alone as their lust for blood always drove them back to her, and when one wasn't busy snacking on her, there was always another to take his place. Because of that, she had come to know quite a lot about the brothers' personalities. There was the crude, possessive Ayato. The childish, faux-naïf Kanato. Reiji was stiff and formal, reflecting the way the gears in his mind turned. His older brother Shu was apathetic. Raito was wanton and perverted. And then there was Subaru, violent and cold on the outside but truly compassionate on the inside.

But while their personalities came easily, information about how they became the way they were did not. All she had to go on were the flashbacks that burst into her mind while down in the tunnels and the triplets' confession regarding the murder of Cordelia. While this information proved enough to help her connect the pasts to the personalities of Ayato, Kanato, Raito, Shu and Reiji, she had almost nothing on Subaru, who she came to find herself most attached to of all the brothers.

She had a tower. A little boy high above the ground, a hand clutched around a silver knife's hilt. A woman, his mother, gazed from the tower at the young Subaru before turning away with an anguished demeanor. He dropped the knife, and Yui's vision shifted. Among the garden of white roses, Subaru had asked her what she expected of him, a person who was "powerless, hideous and polluted." What was Subaru's past? Just what sort of childhood did Subaru endure that left him so angry and cold toward the world around him, that left him calling himself such awful, heartwrenching things?

Of course, Yui knew well enough that asking Subaru straight-up would probably result in him reacting as badly as he had in the garden. Whatever it was, it had to be extremely painful for him to deal with. Plus, she had no right to know and he had no obligation to tell her. Subaru was truly kind to her sometimes; she didn't want to upset the only vampire who treated her like a person instead of prey. So she decided that she would take another route entirely.

She decided to ask Ayato.

Ayato had been the one to tell her about the murder of his mother, and he seemed to be the most...explanatory. She decided she would ask him.

And she did. Later on that night, Ayato manifested on her bed just minutes before she would have gone to sleep. "I want some blood, Pancake," he said with a sharp smile, his tone condescending yet not unkind. "I've been looking forward to it all night."

Yui, as always, stuggled as he did so, but gave up when she realized there was no escaping it. She was weak and fragile and stood no chance against them. He finished rather quickly, drawing away with a bloody smile. He licked his stained lips. "You taste unnaturally tasty tonight," he said, then frowned. "Eh? What's with that expression? You should look like you're in pain."

"Actually, I have a question." She said it simply, but in her, her heart began to quicken its pace. What if Subaru-kun found out that she had asked him? He would be angry. Very angry. But the brothers didn't seem to speak amongst each other very much, so how would he find out?

"Is that so? Your blood is pounding through your veins quickly, Pancake. You smell like you're scared." He flashed a fanged smile, moving himself over her. "It makes me excited."

Yui flushed and clenched her fists, still weak from his feeding. "It isn't about you, so don't get your hopes up." She looked away from him, checking to make sure the room was completely devoid of Subaru before proceeding. "I was actually wondering about Subaru-kun's past."

Ayato chuckled loudly, the sound of it carrying throughout the lavish bedroom. "You're playing with fire. You know that, right?" When she clenched her jaw, he sat up completely, smiling at her crookedly. "Play with fire, and you'll get burnt."

"I know. I didn't want to ask him for that very reason. But I thought that since you told me about your mother, you could tell me about his past and his relationship with his own mother."

"You're being rather sneaky, Pancake. But I suppose I'll tell you anyway. Hell, I don't think I'll rat you out to Subaru, either. I would hate to be on the receiving end of his anger." Ayato raised his arms behind his back and stretched, arching like a lithe cat. He looked content with himself. "Subaru's mother was a lot different than ours. Both Cordelia and Beatrix had not minded their marriage to our father. But Christa—she had not been willing at all. Karl desired her for her beauty. So he took her, forced her to become his bride, and then raped her, which is how Subaru came into being."

Yui's mouth parted slightly as the horror of Ayato's words settled over her. A sick feeling swirled around in her stomach, formed a hard pit. Her throat grew tight. _Oh._

"What, are you regretting having asked?" Ayato said. "You look utterly revolted."

"It's just sick. How could your father do something so awful—"

"Because he's the king, and the king gets whatever he wants." Ayato shrugged and slid from the bed, making as though to leave.

"Hey, wait," Yui said quickly, sitting up. A wave of dizziness washed over her. She had almost forgotten that Ayato had fed from her. "I wasn't finished asking questions."

Ayato disappeared.

Yui stared at the empty spot he'd disappeared from for a few long moments before she lay back down gently among her soft pillows. She absently stroked the fang marks. _"What do you expect from somebody as powerless, hideous and polluted as I am?" _So that was what Subaru had meant. He thought those things of about himself because his mother had never wanted or asked for him. Yui couldn't begin to imagine the pain the experience had to have caused both of them.

Exhaustion and dizziness lulled her to sleep. She dreamt of roses.


	3. Unwanted (Part 2 of 2)

**A/N: I'm almost as sadistic as the brothers. I love tormenting characters and making them hurt emotionally too much...**

* * *

The next night, thankfully, they did not have to attend school. Yui spent her time wandering the old, musty halls, trying to avoid the brothers at all costs (though she could never truly escape them; she was simply allowing herself to cling to a false sense of security). However, she happened upon Subaru.

He always spent his time either outside in the garden or inside, either in his room or in the halls. The first time she'd met him without the presence of his older brothers had been in the very same hall she found him now. He was sitting on the windowsill, staring up at the moon in the sky. The light of it brightened his paper-white hair and made his scarlet eyes shine. Since he did not have to wear the school uniform tonight, he wore a black shirt with elbow-length sleeves and a pair of tight dark jeans, stuffed into his white boots. Despite having called himself hideous, Yui thought that he was anything but. From the vision of the woman in the tower, she could see Christa's soft features in him.

"Do you need something?" he asked, not looking at her, breaking her from her thoughts startlingly.

"I—no, I don't."

He didn't respond.

Yui almost fidgeted. He was so difficult to understand. At least she knew her place among the other brothers. With Subaru, she didn't know what actions were really acceptable and which were not. Plus, she hadn't really spoken to him since the time he bit her in the garden. She wondered what he was thinking about her as she stood there. "Well," she said, "I guess I'm going to go."

"Don't."

Yui froze.

She felt the hand caress her forearm the exact moment he vanished into thin air. His soft hair tickled her throat while he licked her flesh, tracing a line of saliva across the location of her jugular. "S-Subaru-kun?"

"You're bad at hiding when you have things on your mind," he said against her neck, forcing a shiver through her entire body. "I wonder what you're thinking about."

He let go of her and she yanked away quickly, whirling to stare at him. His bright eyes glowed, the expression in them unreadable. But maybe it wasn't unreadable as much as it was blank, empty. Her body screamed for her to run. Something inside her told her that if she ran, he would not follow her. But she stayed rooted to the spot. Subaru did not look particularly upset. Ayato probably hadn't told him that she now knew the piece of information regarding his past that he wanted kept to himself. But she did not want to run away and make him suspicious, and she did not want to lie to him. But she was afraid that his temper out flare up if she told him the truth.

She felt her face grow hot and looked down at her feet guiltily. She felt dirty for having even gone behind his back to glean the information. Maybe she did deserve his wrath. "Subaru-kun, I don't want you to get mad at me." She clenched her jaw and glanced up at him, into those expressionless eyes. "I—I may have asked Ayato about...well, your past—"

As soon as the words were out, she regretted having told the truth. She was slammed back against the wall, his face just inches from hers. His fangs were bared with rage. Yui squeezed her eyes shut, feeling every bit of strength seep out of her with terror. "What did you say?" he whispered frigidly.

Yui turned her face to the side, away from the cold breath on her face. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not!" he yelled, and she shrieked when the _felt _the wall cave in right beside her, _felt_ the impact his fist made against the drywall. His hand closed around her throat, crushing her body against the wall. Her eyes opened, focusing on the rise and fall of his chest, the pain that cut deep into her soul through the cracks in his anger. She gasped, barely able to breath.

"Sub—a—ru..."

"Tch, what was Ayato thinking? Telling you something like that?" His grip tightened. She made a small choking noise, and Subaru only stared hard at her, his eyes cold and devoid of the calmness that had been in them only moments before. "Why would you do that?"

Yui lifted her hands to her throat, trying to pull away the hands that had cut off her air supply. She thought she was dying. Knew it. If she went much longer, he would suffocate her. Just as she was about to kick him in an attempt to get him to let go of her, he dropped her to the ground. She slid down the wall, gasping softly and clutching her (probably) bruised neck. He started to walk away, his angry, hurt demeanor apparent in his swift, ungraceful stride. "Subaru-kun," she called weakly, crawling forward a little. "Subaru, I-I'm so sorry."

He stopped. Turning around, his red eyes glowed like hellfire against the darkness. But he had stopped to listen to her.

Yui took another harsh breath and used the wall to help herself up. "I just wanted to know more about you. After all," she said, softer, "you're the only one who treats me like a person. I know well enough about your meaner brothers, but the fact that you're nicer—I wondered what that was about."

When he made no move to approach her, she walked toward him, her fingertips skimming the wall. "I shouldn't have gone behind your back. But I was afraid of how you would react."

"That I would hurt you?" he said abruptly. A shadow of something passed across his features; Yui couldn't identify what.

"Yes."

She stopped when she was feet away from him. Just out of his reach. After a few tense moments, though, Subaru closed the space and took her hand. Yui flinched automatically. The truth was, the gentlest Sakamaki brother _did_ scare her. His violent behavior made a bad combination with the wildness of his shifting emotions. He placed his hand under her chin, lifting her face so he could look at her throat. She swallowed dryly.

"I probably would have," admitted Subaru. He brushed his thumb against her sore skin. "Just like I did here." He bent, moving his lips to her throat.

She expected a bite, but received a gentle kiss instead.

Yui should have jerked away, but she held perfectly still, her heart hammering erratically. She didn't risk saying a word. Part of her was still reeling with how quickly his mood had shifted from enraged to gentle, even affectionate. Then again, perhaps that look she'd been unable to decipher had been regret. Maybe there had been a bridge between the two emotions and she was too slow to pick up on it. In any case, she was still wary of him.

His lips, soft as silk, moved against her skin as he spoke. "You're right to be afraid of me, Yui. I'm a monster in more ways than one. I'll hurt you. I'll break you."

_Yeah...you probably will. _His wild snowy hair made her flesh tingle where it stimulated her nerve endings. It smelled vaguely of shampoo and boy. "Then why are you acting like you aren't going to do that?"

"Because...I don't want to _right now_. But who's to say you won't do something to piss me off more in the future?" He pulled away, appearing almost ashamed of himself. There was a faint touch of flustered color in his cheeks. "It doesn't matter. You're better off with one of the others. You probably don't want somebody like me anyway, now that you know how filthy I really am."

Yui parted her lips, readying a response only to have it get stuck in her throat. The vision of Christa watching Subaru flashed in her mind. Turned away from her to face the tower, Subaru's face had not been visible to her, but she imagined that the undeniable misery he wore now had to have paralleled what he had been wearing then. Not only that, but the question he'd asked her back in the garden—Subaru truly hated himself, and he actually believed these awful things about himself were true. But what made him think these things?

She finally understood.

"Subaru-kun, are those your own words, or your mother's?"

She hit his sore spot. His lips curled away from his teeth, revealing the tips of his fangs. They were bared in a threat, but this time, Yui knew it was nothing more than an empty threat. "Don't—"

"Did she make you believe that? Did she make you think that you're disgusting?" By his reaction, she knew she had guessed correctly.

"I _am_ disgusting—"

"No. You're not." Yui brought her hand up to her neck, touching it gently. "Why do you have to act so violent all the time? Does it bring you pleasure to hurt others?"

Flustered color rushed into his cheeks, and Yui amended her words, having realized how incredibly insensitive she was being. "Do you think that it helps mask your insecurities?"

"Tch. I don't have time for this, to be chastised by you—"

Yui placed her hand on the back of Subaru's neck, drawing his head down just as she rose onto her toes. Though it lasted less than a couple of moments, her lips pressed against his with a cautionary softness, and her careful fingers twisted in the mound of feathery hair that fell down the nape of his neck. She did not glean a reaction from him until, upon removing her lips from his, he slipped his arms hesitantly around her waist, dragging her against his rigid body. The embrace, if not physically, made her feel warm inside. It proved that he truly was different within the cold walls of his heart than on the hard, walled exterior he'd built up on the outside. Several seconds passed before she reluctantly laid her cheek against him, listening through his shirt for a nonexistent heartbeat.

"I like this side of you, Subaru-kun," she mumbled. "Your gentleness. And despite what you may think, to me, you are anything but disgusting."

Subaru's chest rose and fell with his breath. His low voice came out rougher, as though edged with sandpaper. "Do you...really think that...?"

"Yes."

He kept his hands on her waist, taking a step back to examine her disbelievingly. Then he tilted her head back.

Subaru's kiss came unexpectedly, but as sweetly as honey. It was not possessive like Ayato's, sickening like Raito's, or an obligation like Kanato's. It was an expression of love that truly had a meaning not only to her, but to him. His sharp incisors grazed her lower lip; she imagined him biting down on it and sucking the droplets of blood from it, but he did no such thing. Not now, anyway. Yui dug her fingers into his stomach. He may have hurt her, but for the moment, she couldn't help but allow his sweetness to redeem him. She sighed against him, curling her fingers like talons to keep him close, and when his mouth twisted into a smile, her heart and her mouth smiled back.


End file.
